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Ressick.Net - Modern Mythology - BTVS - XWP - Links - CordyHasFaith
Title: Tomorrows Incomplete
Author: Ressick ( ressick@yahoo.com )
Pairing(s): This story is about soulmates. Tara/Willow and Buffy/Faith, beyond that just see.
Rating: NC-17, I guess...
Vague Summary-type thing: In 2003, Buffy tries to help Willow recover from the death of her wife. A former enemy returns to Sunnydale. General emotional chaos ensues. Then vacation.
I'm not Jewish. So if I got any details wrong about traditional wedding ceremonies or general Jewish culture, my apologies again. It's not like there's a manual for mixed Jewish/Pagan gay weddings, so I had to improvise.
Flashbacks are enclosed by }}}{{{. Spoilers for Graduation Day, plus some exceedingly general fourth season stuff.
DANGER WILL ROBINSON: This story contains character death(s).
Random Author's notes: Rabid Tara fans, of which I count myself one, please don't smack me for this story. It's kind of a random story, containing the following pairings: B/F, W/T, B/W, and F/T. No, I'm not kidding, and there's no cheating involved either, so there!
Extra Disclaimers: I am not a resident of Nova Scotia, heck I'm not even Canadian, but as any friend of mine can tell you, I am very much in love with the country. So while Canadian locations, cultural thingies, and sights are used in this story, I only know what I've learned on three wonderful vacations to the area. Any hotels, parks, or other random places that I mention or describe are here only because I've been there (with the exception of the Airports mentioned) and happen to adore them or have found them to be really nice. Please be kind if you really are from the area. I'm just a bumbling American!
If anyone wants it for their site, just ask (tho the why is ununderstandable). Gary is, of course, welcome to it; as is laral if she thinks this fits the criteria for W/T fic and Kimber too. Feedback, constructive criticism, flames from my fellow rabid Tara fans, et al, go to ressick@yahoo.com
This story is weird. It just happened. That's my only explanation/excuse.
******
Tomorrows Incomplete
by Ressick
...
University of California at Sunnydale, April 2003
Elisabeth Anne Summers stood before her Watcher and surrogate father defiantly. "Giles, I know you're worried about this whole random demon rising thingie, but there's one of those at least once a week! Do I really need to patrol tonight?!"
"Buffy, I can tell that you're concerned about Willow, but that does not mean you can forsake your duties. Can't Xander or someone stay with her instead of you?" The British gentleman was finding it harder and harder to argue with his student. He, too, worried about their friend. But, duty, he thought. Always duty first.
Buffy spluttered at her Watcher, "No, he's too busy being orgasm friends with Anya! Everyone else has something 'more important' so please, Giles!"
Rupert Giles shook his head, "You don't need to give me details on Xander's whereabouts in the future."
The slayer smirked at him, "Scary visual place, huh? Please!"
He sighed. The girl was incorrigible. "Fine, but I expect that you'll double patrols later on in the week."
"Thanks Giles!" said Buffy happily, impulsively hugging her Watcher before running out the door.
"Just help Willow," he said quietly to the empty apartment.
*****
Willow Rosenberg sat staring out her apartment's window, watching the slow change of seasons from winter to spring. She was a senior in college, and the room she had once shared with her best friend lay across campus.
She'd moved out of Buffy's room two years ago, and into the set of rooms she sat in, the place she had shared with her lover. Willow turned away from the window and glanced around. A picture on the dresser caught her attention. It was of the Scooby gang, a year and a half ago. She rose, and picked it up, smiling as she remembered the day even as tears coursed down her cheeks...
}}} The day had been clear and bright, a faint hint of Jack Frost still in the air despite the sweet sound of robins all around. They'd all met in the small park on the outskirts of Sunnydale, Xander and his dog Spike immediately running off. Buffy had laughed and called him back to help set up the picnic. Giles had brought the huppah and set it up carefully as they waited for the rabbi to arrive. The British Watcher finished with the floral-covered canopy and set up a small table with a bottle of kiddush wine and two glasses. Joyce Summers stood arranging the small picnic, directing Anya, Xander, and Amy as to each item's placement. Cordelia and Oz set up half a dozen chairs around the huppah.
Rabbi Cohen roared into the park's lot on her motorcycle, pulling off her helmet and bouncing from the bike. She glanced around, and offered her thanks to Giles who merely nodded, embarrassed and nervous. The small group finished their preparations, letting Giles and Joyce slip away quietly. The younger people sat around talking, or in the case of the boys, played with Xander's mutt dog.
Less than half an hour later, two cars pulled into the lot. Rabbi Cohen put on her prayer shawl and stood behind the small table under the huppah, waiting. From one car came Willow and Giles arm in arm. Willow wore a long, deep green dress and held a small bouquet of lilies. Giles was resplendent in a dark suit. He led his young charge towards the huppah, and beamed as their friends lined the path to the canopy in silent respect. From the other vehicle emerged Tara and Joyce. The young wiccan wore a light brown dress and Mrs. Summers a blue frock. Also from Tara and Joyce's car came a short, old woman who in her day had had blond hair exactly matching her granddaughter's. Gertrude, as she had insisted everyone call her, followed behind the rest of the procession.
The five of them ended their little parade under the huppah. Giles and Joyce took their charges' hands and linked them. Gertrude took the clasped hands in her own, and quietly recited a prayer before nodding to Rabbi Cohen. She smiled at the couple and their assembled guests. "We're gathered here today to celebrate the joining of these two young women. We celebrate their commitment to each other and the love that they share. Willow?"
The redhead smiled at the friendly rabbi, and turned to her fiancée. "I vow to you that I shall be devoted, supportive, and loving. 'Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die- there will I be buried. May the Lord do thus and so to me, and more as well, if even death parts me from you!'" She turned to Buffy, who handed her a plain gold band. Slipping it onto Tara's right index finger, she said softly, "You are my love, and my heart, and the keeper of my soul. Today I make you my wife and life partner."
Tara blushed, squeezing Willow's hand briefly before saying, "I vow to you that I shall be devoted, supportive, and loving. By the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone, I give to you my love. I will cherish and respect you, I will protect you, I will love you for all the days of my life. May the gods and goddesses bless our union, may they bind our hearts, life unto life, death unto death." She turned to her grandmother and took a silver ring covered in Celtic knotwork. She shakingly placed it on Willow's hand and said, "You are my love, and my heart, and the keeper of my soul. Today I make you my wife and life partner."
Rabbi Cohen smiled even more broadly. She picked up a piece of paper and read the ketubbah, the lyrical Hebrew flowing from her lips. Next, seven of their friends read a wedding blessing to them: Giles, Joyce, Gertrude, Xander, Cordelia, Oz, and lastly Buffy. Each of the original Scooby gang, plus Tara's grandmother, were proud to give the traditional Jewish blessings.
Finally, the two young women picked up the glasses of wine that Rabbi Cohen had poured for them. They held the glasses out to Gertrude, who intently chanted over the wine. "Blessed be the deities who shine their blessings upon these young women. Blessed be the earth that nurtured the grapes from which they drink. Blessed be the people who support them in their love. Blessed be their union, may it last even in their passing to the Summerlands." She sprinkled a light herb powder into the wine and urged them to drink. When the wine was gone, they took the empty glasses and put them on the floor. Stomping, the two young women broke their glasses into shards.
"Mazel Tov!" cried the rabbi, and their friends cheered. Handfuls of rice appeared as if from nowhere, and they found themselves pelted with the grains as they kissed gently. Laughing, Willow and Tara fended off their friends and made their way over to the small feast Joyce and Gertrude had prepared. Sitting down at one of the picnic tables, they began the celebration. The newly wed couple fed each other cake, opened presents, and rejoiced with their friends.
Later in the afternoon, as their friends and family relaxed from the feast, they snuck away to a corner of the park. Walking hand in hand as the sun set, they came upon a small pond. Looking over the water, they watched a family of mallard ducks swimming. Willow sat down, and pulled Tara to the ground with her. The redhead dragged her wife towards her, and slipped lithe arms around the blond's waist. "I love you," she whispered into a perfect ear at the very moment the sun set, sending brilliant colors into the stratosphere. From out on the pond, they heard the distant cry of a loon.
"I love you, too, Willow," whispered Tara, leaning back into her wife's embrace. "Forever." {{{
Willow smiled bitterly as her memories faded into the present. "Forever isn't a long time anymore," she said softly.
*****
Buffy knew where she'd be able to find her best friend, and so she headed across campus after changing from slaying to hanging-around clothes. She walked up to her friend's door and froze as she heard quiet sobbing. She sighed, and knocked on the door gently, "Wills? Willow, it's Buffy, let me in please."
The sobbing hurriedly stopped and Willow got up to let her friend in. "Buffy, hi," she said defeatedly, letting the slayer step by her into the room. Buffy closed the door behind her and gathered up the hacker into a fierce embrace.
"Hi Wills," she said in the midst of the embrace. Ensconced in her friend's arms, Willow broke down again and clung to Buffy. "Shh, shh," the slayer murmured, at a loss.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And shouldn't you be slaying?" she asked, pulling away from Buffy and roughly wiping her eyes.
"Giles gave me the night off," the slayer shrugged.
Willow sat down on the queen-sized bed. "I have you all pretty worried, don't I?" she asked softly. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Buffy sat down next to her friend. "Yeah, we're worried, but that's what friends do. We just want to see you get better, Wills, that's all."
"I know." Her voice was at a whisper, and only Buffy's slayer-hearing allowed her to catch the words. "I... I just don't know what to do anymore, what to believe... It's like part of me is just... gone." She stared at her hand, and the silver Celtic knotwork ring on her finger. "I mean, it hurt when Oz left, but, gods, I never married him!" Tears coursed down her cheek again and she roughly wiped them with her sweater. She turned and cried into the shoulder Buffy offered.
She sat up a few minutes later, sniffling. "I'm a wreck. She... she wouldn't want me to be like this."
"No, I don't think she would have," replied Buffy softly. "She loved you, loved life, but I think she'd want you to, I dunno, inherit her love of life. She's not here to make you stop and smell the roses anymore, Wills. You've got to do that on your own, for her."
The hacker looked up at her best friend, "When did you get so smart?" she asked softly, the faint hint of a smile edging her tear-stained face.
"I don't know," said the slayer. "Maybe I needed to." An image of a bloodstained body fought its way into her mind, and she pushed it away. No, I won't remember her that way.
"She's the first one we've really lost, isn't it? The first one since Jesse or Miss Calendar that we couldn't save..." Willow frowned, she hadn't thought of her childhood friend in years.
"Yeah," was the quiet whispered reply. "I mean, I think I've lost enough people that it shouldn't hurt so much anymore, but Tara was different." She inhaled slightly- they hadn't spoken her name in more than three weeks, not since the quiet private funeral.
"Yes, Tara was different," echoed the hacker, murmuring the name reverently. "Oh, gods, I miss her so much!" She shook her head, trying to dispel the pending migraine. "I want to go for a walk. Will you come with me?" Buffy nodded, and they made their way out the door.
*****
The evening was clear and warm, all things considered. A near-full moon lit up the sky and cast an eerie light over the graveyard. Willow had resolutely led her best friend towards the dismal cemetery. They wandered for a while, visiting a few friends and acquaintances: Jesse's mock gravestone put up years ago after his family gave up their search for him, Kendra's simple headstone, Jenny Calendar's elaborate Gypsy memorial that they both knew Giles had paid for, and the several classmates who had died on graduation day while fighting the Mayor.
After about half an hour of intermittent wandering and remembering, the pair made their way over towards a far corner of the graveyard. Beneath a weeping willow tree stood a simple granite marker. They both knew that six feet down were Tara's ashes, but neither was willing to contemplate that. The stone read very simply. Below the pentagram was:
Tara
Wife, Friend, Daughter
1981-2003
Willow slowly knelt down on the grass in front of her wife's headstone. She placed a single red rose in front of it, and silently traced the words with her finger. Buffy retreated a few steps to give her friend some measure of privacy.
"Hey," murmured Willow. "Miss you," she said softly, and chuckled a bit. "That doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm sorry I haven't been back since the funeral... it's just been too hard. Visiting you here, means that you're really gone. It's carved in stone, y'know. It's hard enough waking up alone, without you beside me, or trying to meditate without you. Let alone living without your kisses and hugs. I don't want to say good-bye, love." She glanced up at the moon, and around the grounds. "It's almost the full moon, and I can't imagine trying to cast without you. Gods, why did you have to leave me?" Tears started running down her cheeks again, and she did nothing to wipe them away. "I know you wouldn't have wanted me to be like this. And I'm trying, I really am." She leaned forward, and kissed the stone, "I love you," she whispered before rising up and brushing off her skirt.
"Ready?" asked Buffy, uncomfortable from a tingling spidey-sense that warned of nasties in the area. Willow nodded, and backed away, starting towards the gate. Her friend watched her for a second, then went and placed a white rose next to the red one. "Hey, Tar. I miss my second fav wiccan. I promise, I'll keep an eye on her for you. I'm sorry I wasn't able make sure you were here to do that." She ran a gentle hand on the top of the marker, wiped away a single tear, and jogged to catch up with her best friend.
*****
They slowly made their way back towards the Sunnydale campus, silent and comfortable in each other's presence. When they passed the first of the dorm buildings, Buffy asked quietly, "Wills, would you like to stay with me tonight? Maybe you just need a change of scenery..."
Willow looked up from her shoes. "Yeah, I'd like that. Just let me stop by our, my, my room for a second, get some things, okay?" As the slayer nodded, she forced a small smile from her face.
After a quick detour to Willow's room for a few clothes and toiletries, the pair made their way to Buffy's room. Willow unlocked it with the key she still had for emergencies, and stepped inside, glancing around. It hadn't changed much since she'd moved out. The second bed, her old bed, was piled with magazines and dirty clothes, but the rest of the room looked essentially the same. The same posters graced the walls, the same disarray greeted her. Buffy, embarrassed, began to pick up a little, taking armfuls of stuff off the bed and throwing it into a corner. She invited her friend to put her few clothes and personal items into her old dresser and then they helped each other change the sheets on Willow's old bed.
Willow brightened a little, surrounded by the familiar space. She put her things away and glanced at the top of the dresser. Where she had once put all her various witchcraft items, were now a series of pictures in cheap plastic frames. Some were of Buffy as a child, with her mother. Others were from high school, with the founding members of the Scooby gang: herself, Xander, Oz, Cordelia, even Amy prior to rat form. A couple were of Angel, Cordelia, Doyle, and Wesley from that first year in LA. There were two of Giles, one with Jenny Calendar and the other with Buffy and the gang on graduation day- before the explosion. There were several from college: the two of them setting up their room together during pre-frosh week, one from the first summer break of the entire reunited gang at Giles' apartment, some random snapshots, and then the same wedding day photo that she had.
The last picture was one she didn't even remember being taken. It was of Tara and Willow, sitting together on the college's green. Willow was leaned back against a tree, and Tara was lying with her head in her wife's lap, looking up adoringly at the hacker, who was bending over with a wide smile on her face and brilliant red hair falling down to frame her face. Their hands were curled together and resting on Tara's stomach. She looked at the picture for a long second and Willow's hand moved up unconsciously to her mouth. It could have been any of dozens of days where the couple retreated outside to study together. But the simple tenderness with which they regarded each other had been captured by the camera. There it was, on display, the devout love they had. Had. Past tense.
Willow tried to control the sobs that threatened to wrack her slight frame. She barely felt it as her best friend came up behind her and pulled the hacker into a tight embrace. The sobs came hard, fast, choking, leaving her drained of energy and short of breath. She leaned against Buffy, wishing for a brief second that it was Tara's body pressed against her instead. No, no, that's not fair to Buffy, she thought. I don't know what I would do if she weren't here for me now.
"C'mon, hacker girl, time for all the good little Scoobies to go to bed," said Buffy, pulling away from the embrace yet slipping an arm around Willow's shoulder. She guided her weary friend towards the dorm bunk. She turned around respectfully as Willow changed into her pajamas, then went so far as to tuck the exhausted girl in. The slayer turned off the lights, then changed into her own pajamas. Right before slipping into bed, she knelt next to her best friend's still form and awkwardly hugged Willow. She kissed her friend's forehead and murmured, "Sweet dreams, Wills," then crawled into bed, praying that something would be enough to chase away her favorite hacker's nightmares.
*****
She awoke with a bright bit of sun in her eyes. We're on the wrong side of the building for this. Her eyes opened, suddenly, startled, and wearily adjusted to the glare. For a long minute, she didn't recognize her surroundings. Then she remember the night before and tried to fight back the tears once again. I can't keep crying like this. Love, please, come back, she thought despondently, knowing it was impossible. They'd cremated her, making sure that the gentle, shy wiccan wouldn't have to worry about becoming undead. She had watched as her wife's body was sent into the flames.
For the first time in her young life, Willow Rosenberg really wanted to get drunk. She wanted to get beyond drunk to that point where you wouldn't know yourself from Eve. The past three weeks, she had tried to bear it, tried to work through the pain, but she couldn't. After her out-of-town friends had quietly left Sunnydale, she'd tried to stay as strong as she'd been for them, but it proved fruitless. Each thought of Tara brought tears to her eyes.
She turned over and glanced at her best friend's quiet form in the bed next to hers. Buffy has done so much for me lately. Goddess, this must be tearing her up inside. She knew that the slayer blamed herself for Tara's death. No one agreed with her, but she understood Buffy well enough to know that anytime anything bad happened to one of her friends, she took the blame. It was in the slayer's nature.
A loud thunk outside the door captured her attention and she bolted upright. Buffy awoke, too, and instantly grabbed a stake from below her bed to help answer the door. She motioned for Willow to hide behind the desk. The witch picked up a crossbow instinctively and trained it on the door as Buffy crept forward to answer it.
"Who is it?" the slayer called curiously, trying to keep her voice relatively neutral.
The only answer was the sound of a body sliding to the floor.