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Disclaimers: I own nothing, I am but a humble peon with way too much time on my hands. The characters belong to Joss and Co. while the lyrics are to the song "Wonderland" by Angie Aparo off his CD "The American".

Slashy Couple Goodness: Cordy/Faith and for this coupling I totally blame shay. So therefore, this fic is dedicated to her for converting me to a C/F 'shipper.

Feedback: is always nice and can be sent to ressick@yahoo.com. Be nice, I usually write T/W fic!

*****

"Wonderland"

by Ressick

....

Cordelia Chase let the rain pound against her L.A. apartment building. She didn't mind, she was high and dry in her haunted home. Dennis the ghost handed her a cup of tea, and she smiled gratefully towards where she thought the phantom might be. Cordelia found the rain almost soothing, the day almost comforting. Her life had taken so many unexpected turns that a twenty-four hour period without some earth-shattering disaster was something to be appreciated, due to its inherent rarity.

She gladly let the arms around her tighten. Leaning back in her lover's embrace was something Cordelia would always remember as the most comforting experience she could hope for. She let her free hand drift towards the hands around her waist, twining their fingers together. Cordelia could never understand what exactly drew her to Faith, or the dark slayer to her, but whatever it was she was grateful for.

Take a piece of the sky
Make it rain cherry wine
Give her love give her life
Give her mine

Faith Spencer breathed in the scent of vanilla and whatever high-priced shampoo her lover was currently using. She let the moment wash over her, filling her senses with each bit of information that she could collect: the comfortable sofa beneath her, the warm body leaning against hers, the fine hair brushing against her face, the feel of Cordy's skin and clothing against her bare arms, the scent of the woman she very simply was in love with. Faith was far beyond believing in any god, but she thanked whatever higher beings there were for Cordelia being in her life.

She's a child young and willing
In a world that's unforgiving
That in time takes all the living
From your soul

Cordelia could never understand how the world chose a teenage girl to be a slayer. How the Watcher's Council could steal from a child her life and happiness even if it was to save the world time and again. She often raged against the coldness of those who had trained Faith, had taken from her lover any sense of hope for the future.

I stand in the night with a silver sword
Killing her demons beating 'em off her door
Sleep baby don't you cry
Daddy's got a worn-out lullaby

There were too many nights that Cordelia woke to the tossing and muted cries of her lover thrashing in the midst of some nightmare. The sometimes-actress felt totally useless as all she could do was hold the slayer in her arms, soothe away slowly whatever inner demons the tormented young woman was fighting, wait until Faith again slipped into a dreamless sleep. And sometimes her lover would awaken, sweat pouring from her brow, heart pounding, and she would do the one thing only Faith knew she could: she would sing softly, letting the slayer curl up against her side, as the old tunes and rock songs were given credible renditions. And Faith would either drift off to sleep, or would awaken a bit more and they would make love until every demon was purged from Faith's mind as her lover chased them away with each touch and kiss and fervid embrace.

And I live forever dark and damned
To see you spend one minute
In Wonderland

Faith kissed Cordelia's neck, smiling softly at the actress' involuntary shiver. After years of trying to find a reason to continue in her destined fight, after years of slipping from good to bad and back again, Faith had discovered a single reason to keep fighting the forces of darkness, to finally embrace the mantle of Slayer. It was, very simply, to keep the one she loved safe. The fate of the world meant next to nothing to her. But keeping the vampires and demons away from Cordelia was everything. She would accept whatever punishments were needed, some day, when the fight was finally over, but she would not accept death until she knew Cordelia was always and forever safe. She would spend eternity in hell as long as she could be sure her lover was happy. All her inner demons, all the hatred others felt for her, it was all worth it, as long as her Cordy was safe.

She can run free forever
Still our blood runs us together
I'll be there if she runs home
For worse or better

Neither understood what drew them together; nor did their few friends. It seemed like the ultimate odd couple: a tormented slayer with a criminal past in love with a struggling actress. But it were those very divergent pasts that shaped the women the other loved. It was the loneliness, the fear that no one knew the real person underneath the mask, the self-hate that only the other understood, that bonded them closer than blood or a shared, similar past could. In each other, they finally found someone to understand, someone to soothe all the fears, fight the other's monsters, be each other's homes. Together, they could finally be more than alive, they could be happy.

I know you like Adam knew Eve
Every tear you cry is a tear that I will bleed

Cordelia turned in her lover's embrace, placing feather-soft kisses along Faith's jawline, until she finally reached a smiling mouth. Their lips met softly, as the actress's hands wandered, running over skin and cloth with a determined touch. She shuddered slightly, her fingers gently tracing the slayer's latest scar, a long, jagged red line along Faith's torso from a run-in with a nasty three headed, four armed demon a few months before. Cordelia had come so close to losing her lover that first night, as Faith's fever soared and her body reacted to the copious blood loss. The former cheerleader still had bad dreams about that night.

Her hands traveled further, leaving the scar behind. Over the past months she had come to know Faith's body well, each curve and scar and inch of skin well traced by long slender fingers. As they had moved into their relationship, each had discovered their once-unstable friendship was deepening. The pain one felt raged in the heart of the other. Their joy was shared. Cordelia rejoiced, she was no longer alone in her mind, as Faith found her way slowly in. Faith at long last felt worth something as her lover spoke softly, praising the slayer's warmth and love and caring.

Sleep baby don't you cry
Daddy's got a worn-out lullaby

Faith remembered her lover's nightmares, about losing the slayer, being left alone. Cordelia thought she hid them, but nothing could wake Faith faster than her lover's restless sleep, as the actress tossed and turned, murmuring in her dreams about the emptiness that both knew would only come with the other's absence. And then the dark slayer would do as Cordelia did for her, singing softly in a voice that sounded like angels to the long legged brunette. After a few verses, peaceful sleep would return, and Faith would return to her slumber with a small smile on her face, glad to repay a favor or two.

And I live forever dark and damned
To see you spend one minute
In Wonderland

Cordelia knew she could be anywhere, doing anything. She knew that the only reason Faith hadn't jumped off the nearest building, to free herself from the guilt Cordelia knew raged inside, was that the slayer couldn't bear to desert her lover. The actress vowed, each morning, as she awoke to dark hair splayed across her shoulder, that someday her slayer would stay from the building ledges for her own reasons, that the guilt would lessen enough for Faith to believe life was worth living even without her. Cordelia knew the road ahead was long, and hard, but in the end, the high school cheerleader was gone, and in her place was a tormented young woman, plagued by visions of a future she couldn't always prevent. They both had their own demons to fight. And when all the monsters were dead, they would rejoice. Cordelia promised herself that they would celebrate together.

The pair deepened their kisses, moved roughly from the living room to the bedroom. As their pleasure cries sounded in the quiet night, unbeknownst to anyone, Dennis the ghost blushed. The phantom retreated to the farthest corner of the apartment that he could, giving them the most privacy his state afforded. He missed the quiet promises the couple shared as they slid into dreamland together, sated and happy.

"I love you," the two both whispered, as sleep claimed them.

Finis