Ressick Ressick.Net - Modern Mythology - BTVS - XWP - Links - CordyHasFaith


Disclaimers: I don't own ANYTHING, except this story. The sweet young ladies whose travails are at the center of this little work, plus all their buddies, belong to Joss Whedon and those other lucky buggers over at the WB & Mutant Enemy. The title is from T.S. Eliot. References to other shows/cartoons/personalities means that the aforementioned stuff belongs to the aforementioned stuff's creators/licensers/etc. Got that? Good. Moving on...

This piece contains two young ladies who are more than just friends. However, this fic is only a PG at the most.

If you'd like to post this, or any of my other fic, somewhere else, go ahead, just drop me a note with the URL. If you just want to tell me what you think of this (eek!), you can also drop me a note. The addy is ressick@yahoo.com and I like feedback (note that I'm not begging).

This is a direct continuation of "Between the Emotion and The Response". You'll really need to have read that one to get what's going on here. I change voices a lot here, but it'll be pretty self-explanatory as you read, so don't worry.

*****

"Trembling with Tenderness"

by Ressick

.

Willow leaned against the doorjamb until she could hold in her tears again, then made a mad dash for her dorm room. Someone called her name when she was halfway across campus, but she couldn't stop. I have to get home before I can collapse, she chanted to herself. Public, and tears, weren't things she wanted to mix.

She burst into her room, slamming the door behind her and leaning against its cool surface. "Will?" She started, turning towards the voice, releasing a sigh of relief when it was just her roommate and best friend.

"Yeah?" she replied, tiredly.

"You okay?" the slayer asked gently. Buffy was in her 'yummy sushi pajamas' and lay sprawled over her bed, a textbook open in front of her.

"Yeah," she said again, plopping down beside her friend and leaning to read over her friend's shoulder. "Dante?" she smiled. Slayer and hell. Close enough.

"Yup. But I'm not falling for that I'm-okay-even-though-I-rushed-in-here-like-mad-and-look-like-I-just-cried 'Yeah', so spill it, wicca girl." Buffy rolled over to face her friend, and barely managed to catch Willow as the hacker fell forward, tears finally releasing. She wrapped her best friend in a tight embrace, rocking the other girl back and forth until the sobs quieted.

"I'm sorry, Buffy, you need your sleep and to get your homework done," Willow said, trying to disentangle herself from the embrace.

"Nope, none of that. Sit down and tell the slayer what's up. If butt-kicking is required, it shall be done."

Willow shook her head. She leaned forward, letting her hair cascade down to hide her face as she whispered, "You don't want to hear it."

"Sure I do," said Buffy assuredly. She lifted up her friend's chin and said softly, "You can tell me anything, you know that Wills. I'm here."

The redheaded hacker sniffled, then seemed to shrink inside herself. "I think I'm in love," she said softly.

"That's great, Wills. What's the problem?" Buffy couldn't see why love would make her friend so unhappy- she'd been positively miserable after Oz left, and Buffy thought a new relationship might just be what her best friend needed.

"Tara," she whispered the name reverently.

The slayer was confused. What did Tara have to do with love? Did they like the same guy? Suddenly, an image of vamp-Willow flashed in her head. No, couldn't be that. No. Tara? Tara. She was treading in unknown waters, and hazarded, "Does she, um, not go that way?"

Willow's head shot up. "You're not disgusted?" she asked incredulously.

Buffy smiled, and shook her head. "Willow Rosenberg, you're my best friend. I love you. As long as you're happy that's all that matters."

A slow, wide smile spread across Willow's face. "Thank you," she said simply.

"That's what friends are for. Now, Tara?"

She shook her head, "I don't know. It's like I stop thinking when I'm around her, I just feel, and she's never mentioned a boyfriend, but that doesn't mean anything and I don't know why I can't just tell her." She stopped for a second. "I love her, I think. I mean, really. Goddess, why couldn't this be easier! I just ran across campus because I couldn't deal with this. I practically left her shaking, alone and terrified because of that nightmare, all cuz I couldn't deal . What kind of a friend am I?" she rushed out, the words almost piling on top of each other.

"Wait, nightmare?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, I went to apologize for missing our study date, and when I went up to her room, she wasn't answering, and I could hear her whimpering and thrashing around, so I opened the door and she was so scared." It seems that babbling is my only form of communication tonight. "I shouldn't have left her alone, but I couldn't handle it. I just wanted to kiss her so much."

The slayer ran a hand raggedly through her hair. "So why didn't you?" she asked simply.

"I was scared," Willow replied in a very tiny voice. "I still am."

Buffy looked into her friend's eyes, trying to see what Willow was hiding from. "Are you scared because Tara's a girl and might not like you that way, or are you scared because of Oz?"

"Both," the hacker whimpered, and then stood up. "I need to sleep. Can we talk tomorrow?" she requested.

"Of course," replied Buffy, giving up for the moment. "Sweet dreams, wicca girl," she said softly before hugging Willow and then crawling into bed. "Sweet dreams."

*****

Okay, so my best friend is gay. Or bisexual. Whatever. If she's happy, that's all that matters to me. But it makes life a little more difficult. This Tara girl, I've met her only a couple of times, and not really met, but seen her with Wills while they wandered from class to class. I think she's in Willow's comp sci class. Therefore, knowing only her first name, and having no idea where she lives, it would be hard to track her down. If Will is interested in her, enough to be crying in my arms after one a.m., I need to get to know her. To protect my best friend, and find out if the girl is pursuable.

I finally found her in an English class that was getting out. For some reason, just the way she carried herself and the way she dressed, reminded me a lot of Wills when we were younger. It was sweet. So I followed her home, and then waited a little bit before knocking on her door. She opened the door hesitantly, like she wouldn't expect someone to randomly show up at her room. When she did open the door, and see me there in the hall, her jaw dropped a little, and she stammered.

"Willow's not here, um, Buffy." It was hard to hear her, even.

"I know that. Tara, is it? I just wanted to meet you, chat a little bit, if that's okay." So it wasn't the best line, but what do you say- hi, my best friend might be in love with you so are you, like, interested?

"Um, yeah, sure, come on in," she said, backing away from the doorway and letting me enter her room. I stood in the center of the room as she closed the door behind me, and quietly offered me a seat. There was, I don't know how to describe it exactly, but an energy to the place. The shape and size made it a pretty normal room physically, but there was an ambiance to it. I can't really describe it, except to say that it reminded me of how my dorm room or the old high school library felt after Willow had been doing a spell. Only much, much stronger, more tangible. Any slayer, and I'm assuming, witch, could feel the presence that Tara's magic must have created. Somehow, it put me at ease. My spidey-sense wasn't tingling like it used to around Oz sometimes, and it actually relaxed, in a good way, around this painfully shy girl.

A veil of fine blonde hair hid her face from my sight, but I could see that she was pretty, and the brief glimpse I'd gotten of her eyes was quite striking, actually. She sat down opposite me, on her bed, and seemed to scrunch down. She definitely had pretty horrid posture around strangers.

"Tara?" I asked, trying to figure a way to jumpstart a conversation that I could then direct to what I needed to know. "Um, so how do you like Sunnydale?" Horrid start, I know. I'm not really conversation-gal. I'm more a beat 'em until they talk kind of person.

"It's... different. I haven't really been into town much," she said, and I had to strain to hear her.

"Well, different's a very nice way of saying pretty weird. And that's Sunnydale." Then the 'conversation' died. We sat there, looking at everything but each other, not sure quite what to do.

"Why are you here?" she asked finally, and she was clearly unnerved by my being in her room.

Problem. Or a quandary, as Giles would most likely say. I could go with honesty, spill the beans, and possibly wreck a very important friendship that wasn't even mine to wreck, or just prattle on and hope she bought it.

I settled somewhere in the middle. "Well, I know you and Willow are very good friends, and being the overprotective best bud that I am, I guess I needed to make sure she wasn't getting close to some kind of psycho. We seem to have a lot of those around here, it being Sunnydale. No offense, of course."

She seemed to take a minute to digest this, and then said, "None taken. I, um, know that you're pretty important to Willow, so I'm guessing you feel the same way. Um, just please believe me when I say I would never hurt her. I care about her, a lot."

"How much is a lot?" I asked, oh so serenely.

And then Tara blushed, her cheeks coloring and a faint flush visible even on her neck. I could see I had her flustered, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it. So I went with the first thing that came to mind, "Does that mean a lot equals love?"

I have never seen a better impression of a deer in headlights than I did at that second. She stuttered, and rambled under her breath, but finally managed to squawk, "Why do you ask?"

Divert the original question with the hopes of never having to answer it. Good plan, and it meant she obviously didn't want to respond. Which probably meant... My work was done.

"No reason," I shrugged, trying for nonchalant. Glancing at my watch, I excused myself quickly with the I'm-late-for-class explanation. Now, how was I going to tell Willow I'd gone to see Tara for the express purpose of outing the poor girl?

*****

I was on the internet, checking the updates to Suckyweb.com, the underground, vampire-created websystem (who woulda thunk vamps would go all 21st century?) when my best friend came in. She unlocked the door, walked in, shut the door behind her, and absentmindedly sat down on her bed. Something was obviously on her mind, so I shut down my laptop and swiveled in my chair.

"Hi Buffy," I said.

She glanced up at me, and a fleeting look of fear crossed her face. "Heya Wills," she said softly in reply.

We hadn't talked about our conversation from last night yet. She had disappeared before I'd even gotten up, and our paths never quite managed to intersect on Tuesdays until late, anyway. The fear in her eyes worried me. Maybe she really wasn't quite so cool with what I'd said.

"Wills?" she started. "Would you be terribly offended if I said I'd tracked down Tara this afternoon?"

It came straight out of left field, and apparently decided to whack me in the jaw. "What?" I stuttered.

She blushed, and stared at the floor a bit. "I wanted to see if she was worth your time, Willow. And if she was, um, y'know, available, that way... Please don't be mad."

"What did you find out?" I asked in a very small voice.

Buffy grinned at me. "Nothing definite, but I'd put good money on her being interested. Go for it, wicca-girl." She got up, and pulled me from my chair, evaluating my outfit, "Let's get you ready to go visiting." Walking over to our closets, she opened mine and started throwing clothes around until she pulled out a rainbowy sweater and a long brown skirt. I smiled at the skirt- brown was definitely Tara's color. She always looked so cute in it. "Now, you get changed, and I'm going to disappear, 'kay?" My best friend handed me my clothes, and gave me a quick hug before turning towards the door. "Good luck, Wills. Get the girl. And tonight, I want details." She stopped for a second, considering her choice of words, and stuttered a little, "Well, not all the details. I'll be here, later on, if you wanna talk."

With that, she was gone, and I started changing clothes to go visit Tara.

*****

It was late afternoon by the time Willow left her dorm room to go across campus towards Tara's room. She hadn't bothered to call, knowing her friend's schedule well by now. When she reached Tara's room, she stopped, staring at the door. It was terrifying, again, knowing that something would happen, change everything.

She knocked, and waited impatiently as she heard her friend's shuffling inside, coming to open the door. Then she was face to face with Tara, the other wiccan still reeling from her earlier visitor. Her eyes brightened for a second, and she yanked the door open, but then her face fell, realizing that if Buffy had said anything, Willow might be at her door for a 'she told me about you and it freaks me so stay away' talk. "Would you like to come in?" she asked politely, waiting for her heart to break.

Willow was surprised, Tara rarely actually asked her to come in anymore, she just opened the door and let the hacker in. But she muttered a yes and entered the room. The magic of Tara's private space usually relaxed her in a way she could never explain, but it only served to make her even more nervous.

"Um, Tara, um Buffy said she'd come to see you, and that, um, you'd talked," Willow started. She linked her hands behind her back, and waited.

"Yeah," the reply was so soft she almost missed it.

"I'm scared," she whispered, then froze as she realized she'd said the thought out loud. She flashed back to the almost electric touch between them the night before, gentle and almost sweet in its shyness. One thought, beyond the fear, dominated her mind. She desperately wanted to experience that touch again.

Tara slowly moved towards her friend, sensing the conflict and terror in the hacker. "I know," she whispered back. "It's okay, whatever it is, we can talk about it."

Willow shook her head. "You don't understand." If I'm going to ruin this friendship, I might as well go out with a bang. "I love you," she said softly, and closed the gap of space between them. She gently brushed Tara's hair behind a perfect ear, and leaned forward, pressing her lips to the other girl's. There was no demand in the kiss, no force behind it, only an expression of love, and the strong ties of friendship that had seen fit to bind the two girls together.

Her mind spun, the sensations coursing through her almost unbearable in an exceedingly pleasant way. Unconsciously, she pulled Willow closer, her hands moving of their own accord and burying themselves in fine red hair. She felt the hacker's arms slip around her waist, and when they broke the kiss, she buried her face in Willow's neck, unwilling to move out of their embrace.

"I love you, too, Willow," she said into satin-smooth skin. "I love you too."

The End