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Disclaimers: This essay is MY OWN OPINION. It is my PERSONAL feelings on the subject. I mean no disrespect to anyone (except possibly nazis). I also follow the "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" philosophy, so any pieces of fiction mentioned herein are ones that I like- in fact, most are stories I genuinely adore. I mean absolutely no disrespect to any bard, writer, executive, or actor type by this essay. Also, teeny spoiler for "New Moon Rising", at the very end.

Do You Feel Cheated?

Sex, Smoochies, Censorship, & Gay Relationships in Various Media

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After having read a friend's most recent Buffyverse story, she asked me if I felt cheated by the lack of a sex scene. I personally didn't find myself wishing there was one; I thought the story was exceedingly romantic the way it was written. But that she even felt the need or had the curiosity to ask such a question gave me pause. Later on we discussed the inclusion of sex scenes in general within the three online universes we both read from. I write in two of the three and she writes in all of them. We weren't coming from a position that didn't include an intimate knowledge of the subject matter.

Most fem/slash relationships that are written about online are in no way reflections of the actual shows they are based in. Only this year, 2000, has a formerly slash couple become canon, and by this I refer to the budding romance of Tara and Willow on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." What is recognized is that we will most likely never see on-screen kissing between the couple due to censorship from the show's network. It has been said clearly in several forums that the WB has said no to a physical expression of the two young women's love on camera.

This censorship is a far cry from the online tendrils of the Buffy phenomena. Stories carrying an NC-17 rating are as common as flies. It is truly a rare thing in some circles to find a romantic fem/slash without an explicit or even implied sex scene. And I am forced to wonder if the plethora of sex-soaked fanfiction out on the web perhaps cheapens the stories, the authors, the readers, and the entire gay and lesbian community by extension. Does the amount of sex in online fiction possibly imply to non-gay readers that gay relationships are all about sex like the right wing nazis would have us believe? Surely not every sex scene is really necessary- there are some stories that definitely include too much sex and too little character development or plot. There is even the "plot- what plot?" genre in many online 'verses in which the entire point of the piece is two women (or whatever combination the writer prefers) getting down to do the hot and nasty.

Of course, this carries over to mainstream media as well. Movies such as "Bound" I sometimes want to include in the "sex just because" category. Corky and Violet have sex a couple of times, once almost, ahem, finishing things up, on a couch. While there is a larger plot surrounding them, which does qualify as a plot, the main sex scene of the movie has absolutely no romance to it. It is pumping and grinding and just plain fucking, without even a hint of the concept of 'making love'. Even though Corky and Violent fall in love later in the movie, much of the implication to the mainstream viewer is that lesbianism is about fucking and randomly picking women up in bars. The problem with this is the image it can also present to impressionable younger lesbian viewers. I may have only seen the entire movie of "Bound" a couple of times, but I've seen the sex scenes several times more than that thanks to 'gay movie nights' with some of my friends. It came to the point where when my friends were unaware of the plot(s) of the first "If These Walls Could Talk..." movie- which is abortion- one of them said, "I don't want to see that!" in reference to straight sex scenes. I was asked, having actually read about the movie, if there were sex scenes. There are, I assume, but they would be straight (if two girls or two guys can get together and need an abortion afterward, it's news to me). Where the emphasis on a 'gay movie night' is to see movies in which people of the same gender have sex with each other, well, then, fine, but we can chalk it up to holdover adolescent hormones. How can older gay viewers explain themselves?

As far as network censorship with the new Buffy same-gender couple, I think, as much as I am disappointed (because obviously no straight couple would ever have such a restriction placed on them, even if it was a totally obscene pairing), it does offer a certain amount of romance to the coupling. If Joss Whedon, the creator of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", can never show Tara and Willow kissing, then he will have to be very creative in ways to get around that restriction yet still demonstrate to the viewer that the young women are involved and very much in love with each other. However, it is still a double standard, an irony that Joss has whacked viewers over the head with during the episode "Where the Wild Things Are", in which a straight couple (Buffy and Farm Boy- sorry, Riley) humped for a straight hour (pun intended). The implied point is "Look at what these two can do as opposed to Tara and Willow! Is that fair?! Do you really want to see Buffy and Farm Boy hump all season?!" The showing of same-gender smoochies on network television does not spell the end of the world, as much as Fred Phelps and Pat Robertson might claim. Most gay viewers don't want a WTWTA-esque hump-fest. All we want is maybe an offhand, casual peck on the lips. However, due to *possible* network-executive homophobia or plain cowardice, we won't see that.

But back to the online world. Sometimes, sex scenes are very appropriate to the story. Sometimes they are even necessary to the plot. Sometimes they are completely gratuitous and overly explicit. Within the framework of certain series or stories, explicit and pseudo-gratuitous sex scenes are acceptable or even necessary- G.L. Dartt's "Just Between..." series comes to mind, as does the sex-filled "The Speed of the Beat of My Heart". And then again, some stories don't even try to pass themselves off as anything but women's pornography- "The Headmaster" of the Xenaverse being a case in point, even though it does have an interesting plot surrounding the BDSM scenes.

Of course, some stories are just hump-fests. Others include very tasteful and tender sex scenes. But as anyone even totally new to the Xenaverse can tell you, stories do not have to be full of sex and naked horny frolicking to be wildly popular or attain cult level status- Missy Good's stories are the prime example. As someone who writes in her own disclaimers, "This is, of course, PG13 level involvement here, no more. That never changes.. for those of you who are waiting for me to stick in a rip roaring, no holds barred graphic orgy scene, make sure you have plenty of coffee and doughnuts handy. And a comfortable chair. And a good book." (Circle of Life) Melissa Good is an altfic bard who writes romantic, tender, sensual, and gently erotic stories in which there are no traditional sex scenes with fully detailed groping or, well, you should know what I mean... It has come to the point where one of her novels is becoming a movie, and it could be considered something of an irony that the most PG-13 bard on the net is the one who has become so popular, whereas, by far, most alternative stories do have at least one explicit sex scene in them.

"Do you feel cheated?" my buddy asked. Sex is almost a prerequisite in some 'verses. Anyone without firsthand knowledge of 'the gay lifestyle' would come away thinking that lesbians have mind blowing sex each and every time they get together, even if it's both persons' first times, or if one of them is horribly injured, or even half dead. And they might think that all lesbians actually have this mind-blowing sex several times a day, if not at least several times a week. So, no, I don't feel cheated, in fact I think the way she ended her story was so romantic that I actually went "ahh..." and grinned like a fool. Orgy-based stories don't do that for me.

What does that say to me, a bard/altfic author who writes romance-based stories? I have written sex scenes in my works, and one of the shorts that started a series I'm working on is even based on the idea of two very different young women (okay, so one is a vampire) having sex. I think the main point that I'm trying to make is that there are too many sex-for-the-sake-of-sex stories out there. I have no problem with explicit sex scenes, but I do have problems when that's all there is to a story- when there's no really stable well thought out plot or any emotion attached to the act. That's the point of sex for me- expressing emotion. And that might be exceedingly idealistic, but I don't care. Even my sex-for-the-sake-of-sex story is part of a series that is about emotion.

Fan fiction in general is about doing what TBTB won't do. Even if it's one of a zillion Angel/Buffy or Gabrielle/Perdicus (if anyone actually writes this pairing, please don't tell me) or Janeway/Chakotay stories, fanfic goes where the producers or writers of a television series won't. It's about taking a modern myth and making it the viewers' instead of bowing to the corporate gods. It's about using well-loved characters to express something different from the norm- you won't find the gay relationships in fanfic onscreen (with the exception of Tara and Willow: yay!). The people who write altfic stories are writing some utterly romantic stories that have value all their own. And a good number of the people that write these stories are reflecting themselves in a way they can't otherwise- because they, like their interpretations of the characters, are gay or lesbian or bisexual. These outsiders to mainstream culture are appropriating for themselves characters that everyone likes and respects.

But when does this appropriation go too far? When does reflection of a minority in fanfiction go too far in portraying what is obviously a part of most romantic relationships? Sex-soaked stories cheapen the emotions that should fuel the act. Sometimes, it's necessary. Sometimes, it comes across as romantic. But I postulate, from experience, that sex-less stories are often ten times more romantic than stories with even a single only vaguely-graphic sex scene. What you don't know about the couple makes it just that more sensual. No one can argue (at least to me) that Tara blowing out the candle at the end of "New Moon Rising" was a cop-out. It was a way of showing that, yes, they are involved while also retaining the utter romance of the pairing and maintaining the integrity of the characters. Even with Willow and Oz, we didn't get anything even remotely near the Buffy/Riley humpfest. It wouldn't have fit the characters then, and it doesn't fit Willow's new relationship now. While sex scenes have their place, they are not a prerequisite for a good or popular story. My point in this? Sure, let them make love, but be sure that it is making love and not just smut. Relationships are about emotion. Stories about relationships should be that way too.

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